“Every day we have a choice to keep holding on just a little bit longer or conclude that today is the day we will finally let go. Which will you decide?” 

Ultimately, letting go is not a simple act that just anyone can do anytime.  It’s an art, it’s an understanding, and it takes conscious effort to open ourselves up to total freedom. And if we want to truly let go of everything in our lives, we’ve got to learn to love more, not less.

Here are ten things you should completely free yourself from to better your standard of living and deepen your understanding of self.

 1)  Attachment to objects and people

Happiness is not possible with attachment.  We get attached to people and things and think they make us happy.  And likewise, assume being without them makes us miserable.  Through non-attachment, we learn true even-mindedness no matter the results of our efforts. 

When we base our expectation of happiness on others, or on circumstances beyond our control, what we are really trying to do is fill a void or empty space.  This works short-term, but over time can turn into a dangerous obsession.

The key to releasing this habit is to determine what is making you feel empty and then work on your relationship with yourself.  Spend more time alone and recognize you are separate and whole.

 2)  Judgment

Have you ever felt judged or unfairly judged others?  We’ve all done it.  We judge others both privately and publicly, and we judge ourselves as well.  And the problem is, the more time we spend judging, the less time we have for other more important tasks.

More often than not, our reasons for judging have nothing to do with the other person and everything to do with our own insecurities.  We can sometimes have significant expectations for others often causing them to feel trapped, restrained, and unhappy.  Judgment can also be a defense mechanism we use as a result of us being previously judged ourselves.

In order to free ourselves from judgment, we first need to stop critiquing ourselves.  Once we are aware of the way we view ourselves puts limitations on our own success, it becomes easier to not pass judgment on those around us.

 3)  Expectations

The next thing to free yourself from is expectations.  We expect people to behave in certain ways and if they don’t, we become irritated, often ruining entire relationships.  It’s absolutely ridiculous for us to expect the world to conform to our beliefs.  When we learn to let go of expectations and accept things as they are, we’re able to live in the moment and truly enjoy life.

 4)  The need to control everything

Control is an illusion.  You will never be in total control of anything.  There, I said it.  This one took me an especially long time to grasp.  Yes, you can have some control over some things in life, but complete total authority is just not feasible.

We all make plans, have goals, have outcomes we are hopeful for, and even try to interfere with the flow of the universe in an effort to change the way things happen if it’s not how we would like.  Newsflash:  Life nearly never turns out as planned!  But it always turns out the way it should.

In order to free yourself from the need to control everything, you have to learn to just let things be, go with the flow, roll with the punches, and accept change, however big or small it may be without getting frustrated or upset.

 5)  The past

We tend to cling to people, places, or things because there is a cozy sense of comfortability in them.  We are creatures of habit and unfortunately, we like it when we know how things make us feel, and would rather opt to play it safe and settle for what we know than take a chance with the unknown.

When we spend too much time looking in the rearview mirror, it takes away from everything in front of us.  Make right now count.  Challenge emotions from stories in the past and focus on the lessons you have learned.

The only way to free ourselves from the past is to leave it behind us.  You can’t change it.  It’s done.  We must learn to take the lessons from it and move forward to creating new memories.

 6)  The future

How many times have we heard the phrase “live in the moment”?!  It’s time to stop obsessing about tomorrow because there are absolutely no guarantees about how it will play out.  Start living as if you only have today because the reality is, that’s all that’s promised.

Live in the NOW.  There have been several studies regarding the most common regrets of those in their final days on this earth, and among the top ones is “I wish I’d lived more in the moment”.  

The things you want to do tomorrow can easily turn into the things you wish you did 50 years ago.  What would be your biggest regret if today was the last day of your life?  Whatever you love, do it.  Don’t wait—take action now.  Don’t let that regret hold true in your future.  

 7)  Comparing

The grass isn’t always greener on the other side, and constantly comparing ourselves to others only serves to lower our own self-esteem and make us feel bad.  There will always be someone richer than you, smarter than you, better looking, taller, thinner, the list goes on forever.  And so what?  Call me crazy, but I think we should be happy for other’s success instead of jealous.  Life isn’t a competition.

To stop comparing ourselves to others we must focus on our own lives.  We should always strive to be the best version of ourselves and not be timid or bashful in celebrating our own accomplishments with zero comparisons to others.  Focus daily on showing gratitude and appreciation for what you do have.

 8)  Pain

When someone hurts you and you don’t let it go, they have the ability to continue doing it.  Anytime you get angry, frustrated, sad, or even think about how they have hurt you, and remind yourself how it made you feel, you go through the experience all over again.

If we continue to let these painful emotions occupy space in our heads, they can become debilitating.  However, when we learn to let go of pain, we become free and that person or thing loses the ability to ever hurt us again.

 9)  Anger

Anger is our reaction to an action from someone or something that doesn’t sit well with us.  Even though we know getting angry doesn’t help the situation at all, we let it control us often making things worse.  When we let feelings of anger surface, we make it all about us.  We think of all the things the other person did to us, what they did wrong, and how it made us feel negative.

Choosing to act impulsively on our anger – shouting, using violence, being rude, or seeking revenge – means allowing and even aiding its growth.  Instead, we can try to understand the other party, show compassion, and even figure out why things were said or done the way they were.

10)  Fear

Sadly, so many of us live in fear.  We worry about things that will never happen, often preventing us from living freely and causing us to miss out on some amazing opportunities.  Most fears we have are both illogical and irrational and often the best way to understand them is to face them head-on.

First, accept and become aware of your feelings of whatever it is you are fearful of.  Recognize how it affects your perception, and how it limits you.  Then, let go of whatever it is you are fearing and place trust in yourself, your inner wisdom, and in life in general.  Learn to trust that everything always works out exactly how it’s supposed to and you truly will be okay no matter what life throws at you.

So there you have it, ten things you should let go of entirely to gain personal freedom and improve your overall quality of life.

Remember, the human mind is the most complex tool we own and can either be our biggest friend or worst enemy.  Having the power to let things go starts there.  The more we are able to simply watch our thoughts come and go without attaching ourselves to them, the easier it all becomes.

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